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Now that you have met Pigúiça here, discover the story behind her world. See the illustrations, read the beginning and choose a book to share with your child, one page at a time.
Looking for pirate jokes for kids? Here are 25 short, clean, easy jokes sorted by age, ready for the car, bath time or bedtime. They all work out loud with an over-the-top pirate accent: Arrr!
Golden rule: tell the question, pause for two dramatic seconds, then drop the answer. The pause is half the joke.
Pirate jokes for ages 3 and 4
At this age, funny sounds and surprises do the job. Keep them very short, with words kids already know.
- What does a pirate say when he sneezes? Arrr-choo!
- What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
- What is a pirate's favorite animal? A parrot, because it repeats everything the captain says.
- Where does a pirate keep his money? In the sandbank.
- Why did the pirate bring a ladder? To climb the high seas.
- What do pirates say on their birthday? Happy Birrrthday!
- What do you call a pirate dog? A bark-aneer!
- What does a pirate say when he is hungry? Arrr we there yet for lunch?
Pirate jokes for ages 5 and 6
Now simple wordplay shows up: sea, treasure, anchor. If a joke does not land right away, say it again slowly and explain the play on words. Getting the joke is part of the fun.
- Why was the pirate so good at school? He already knew the three Rs: Reading, Writing and Arrrithmetic.
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
- What do you call a pirate who skips school? Captain Hooky!
- How much did the pirate pay for his earrings? A buccaneer! (A buck an ear.)
- Why did the pirate cross the sea? To get to the other tide.
- Why is the pirate great at sports? He has a great hook shot.
- Why can't pirates keep secrets? Their parrot tells everybody.
- What did the pirate kid say to his mom? «Mom, tonight I want alphabet soup, but only with the letter R!»
- How does a pirate know the treasure is his? His name is written on the X on the map.
Pirate jokes for ages 7 and 8
Bigger kids love riddles, exaggeration and two-layer jokes. Let them guess the answer before you reveal it.
- What is a pirate's favorite word? Arrr! And his second favorite is also arrr.
- Riddle: the more a pirate finds, the heavier it gets, and he never complains. What is it? A treasure chest.
- Why does the pirate sleep so well? His eye patch already closes one eye for him.
- How do pirates send letters? By sea mail, inside a bottle.
- Why is the pirate flag always in a good mood? It is a Jolly Roger!
- Why did the pirate go online? To sail the World Wide Web.
- What did the pirate do when the wind stopped? He asked the whole crew to blow on the sail. Ten minutes later, everybody was dizzy.
- What did the pirate say to the shy fish? «Come out of your shell, matey!»
How to tell pirate jokes to kids
Pick the right moment: kids laugh more when they are relaxed, like at snack time, in the bath or while waiting in line at the store. Start with the easiest jokes and move up slowly, so your child feels they are getting better at it.
Repeat the favorites. Children love hearing the same joke ten times, and each repeat helps them remember the words.
Use a deep, gravelly voice, but do not shout. Go big on the «arrr» and the funny faces. Little kids laugh more at your pirate face than at the joke itself, and that is perfectly fine.
Let your child tell some too. Ask them to invent their own pirate joke, even if it makes no sense at all. They will laugh at themselves, and that is the first step to feeling confident with words.
You can also play treasure hunt at home, always with an adult watching: hide a paper «chest» with a note and a simple map. For more giggles, try our animal jokes for kids, which pair really well with pirate ones.
And after the jokes, Pigúiça, the blue-eyed husky puppy from the Dogavios book, is waiting in the free browser game, with no sign-up and no ads.
Frequently asked questions
At what age do kids get pirate jokes?
From age 3 they already laugh at the sounds and the accent. Real wordplay starts to work around 5 or 6, when kids understand that one word can have two meanings.
How do I explain a joke my child did not get?
Without killing the mood: repeat it slowly, stress the punny word and ask «what else can that word mean?». Most of the time they get it and laugh the second time around.
Are pirate jokes safe for small kids?
Yes. All 25 jokes here are clean, with no violence and nothing scary. The pirates in this post are silly, clumsy and love a talking parrot.
Your next adventure could be a moment together.
Now that you have met Pigúiça here, discover the story behind her world. See the illustrations, read the beginning and choose a book to share with your child, one page at a time.
Your next adventure could be a moment together.
Now that you have met Pigúiça here, discover the story behind her world. See the illustrations, read the beginning and choose a book to share with your child, one page at a time.
